Just a general warning for everybody: This post is a rant about sex and relationships (Or rather the lack of it)
Also, this has nothing to do with the recent series of youtube scandals. But I still want to say this to the victims who voiced their stories: Well done. This took a lot of courage and must have been a very hard thing to do.
Okay, let’s get to the matter at hand… Rant mode on!
I am a 20 year old woman. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. I’ve never been in love, I’ve never felt real sexual attraction and I’ve never had sex. And I’m totally fine with that. It’s neither a shameful thing nor is it abnormal or sad. In my opinion, love happens when it happens. If it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. And I don’t hesitate to tell that fact to my friends.
SO WHY DOES EVERYBODY AUTOMATICALLY THINK I HAVE A CRUSH WHEN I MENTION A GUY TO THEM!?
Honestly, can’t I have male friends in a purely platonic sense? Is it a universal law that all single women secretly have crushes on all the guys around them? I don’t think so! So many people seem to think that the only way to be really happy is to find a romantic partner, to get married and have children. Which is total rubbish!
The conversation usually goes something like this:
Friend: “So, what are you doing next weekend?”
Me: “Well, I’m going to the cinema with < male friend >.”
Friend: “Oooo, a guy!”
Me: “Uh, yes?”
Friend: “So… do you like him?”
Me: “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Friend: “Yeah, but do you, like… really like him?”
Me: “No, I don’t. He’s just a friend.”
Friend: “Aw, come on, admit you have a crush.”
Me: “I don’t!”
Friend: “Denial is the first sign.” *wink wink*
Me: *SCREAMS INTERNALLY*
You have no idea how utterly sick I am of these conversations! It reminds me of the few instances I’ve played truth or dare when I was a teenager. I always held a deep, deep hate for that game. If you pick truth, you almost always get the question “Do you have a crush on someone?” And if you say “no”, you’re automatically lying. And then your friends don’t let up and want to find out the ‘real truth’ and pressure you and then your parents ask you if there’s this ‘special someone’ in your life and suddenly, you’re considering making up a boyfriend just to shut everyone up.
Fast forward 6 years and I have to start justifying to people why I’ve never had a boyfriend. Conversations like the one I wrote down above happen almost every time I mention a guy to friends (not all but many) and they are extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable. I could scream every time, seriously. Being single and a virgin at 20 just doesn’t seem to be socially acceptable to some people. And that makes me furious.
I guess what I want to say with all of this is: Being single and happy is a thing. And there is no need to try and change people if they are. Let everybody decide for themselves and please just stop pressuring them!
Rant mode off.